Admittedly, I haven’t dated in like a decade, so I missed all the dating apps. But having talked to friends who use them… wow, there is a lot going on there. Both too many and not enough choices at the same time.
I don’t have the experience, but I’ve still heard the cautionary tales, the success stories, and the bloopers (love the bloopers). I can imagine myself swiping and swiping, second-guessing every single person online. Is this really what they look like? Who did they crop out of that picture? What does it mean that they listed Alone as their favorite TV show?
Soulmates and Sole-Mates
This Valentine’s Day, instead of swiping and swiping to find your soulmate, let’s spend some time finding your sole-mate. Or, if you’ve already got a soulmate, now’s a great time to hook them up with their future sole-mate.
Some socks are great for running, some for hiking and trekking, and others for skiing and snowboarding. But is there one sock that’s truly perfect for you, your friends, or significant other? This is where the ultimate test of preference and true love comes into play. This is when we get to decide where our passions lie and how they feel on our feet.
In order to find your perfect sole-mate, start by picking your ideal traits in a person—I mean sock—from each of the socks below. (You can also head to our Gift Finder quiz if you want to cut to the chase―but where’s the fun in that?)
For the Trendsetter Who...
- Has preference between New England IPA and hazy IPA
- Owns expensive sweatpants
- Doesn't shy away from socks with sandals
- Enjoys long walks, to the coffee shop
- Probably wears beanie year round
For the Hiker Who...
- Probably knows more than one acronym for G.O.R.P.
- Plans to take summer off to hike the P.C.T.
- Can go long spans without a shower
- Trekking poles part of daily kit
- Chooses to eat most meals with spork
For the Snowboarder Who...
- Can't hear a song without mentioning it was in a snowboard video
- Knows about double corks, but not wine corks
- Car smells like uncle's woodshed
- Will wake up early for pow, otherwise forget about it
- Claims snowboarding saved skiing
For the Skier Who...
- Constantly dodges questions about why they ski with poles
- Has a few good shot-ski stories from "back in the day"
- Uses terms like "randonee" like you know what it means
- Will ghost you on a good powder day
- Claims fat skis saved skiing
For the Runner Who...
- Claims running "is actually pretty fun"
- Short shorts
- Only listens to upbeat music from running playlist
- Constant carbo-loading
- Measures distances in kilometers
For the Hunter Who...
- Primarily wears boots
- So much camo, everywhere
- Wakes up super early
- Enjoys sitting in silence for long periods of time
- Freezer usually too full of meat to fit ice cream
For the Service Member Who...
- Owns a really big flashlight
- Lots of accessories clipped to belt
- Sundays are for the gun range
- Laces boots really tight
- Gets haircuts weekly
The Key to Love
As you can see, there are pros and cons to most of these socks, just like people you could date. While some could see these traits as faults, for someone else, owning more than one bike could be the key to love they’ve been waiting for.
But at the end of the day, you’re short-changing yourself to not try on a few different socks to see how they feel before committing to the one pair you’ll wear everyday. (And thanks to Merino Wool, you could wear the same pair every day).
So next time you find yourself swiping left and swiping right, maybe just head to your sock drawer and reevaluate your priorities.
About the Author
Chris Zimmerman is a copywriter, content creator, and wordplay enthusiast who enjoys spending his time exploring the nooks and crannies of the Pacific Northwest with his wife and daughter. When he’s not chasing around a 3-year-old, he likes to spend his time snowboarding and attempting to surf.